If you feel early signs of anger or fear, take a deep breath. It`s a familiar piece of advice because it works. If you are tense or tired, your breathing slows down. The reoxygenation of the blood works miracles. After all, you are a physical being. As research by our colleague Amy Cuddy has shown, how you feel emotionally is strongly influenced by what you do to your body. If you are tall, feet apart and arms outstretched, increases testosterone – the hormone that boosts self-confidence and risk-taking – whether you are a man or a woman. It is equally important that this attitude lowers cortisol, the hormone associated with anxiety. A “power pose,” as Cuddy calls it, is a healthy form of self-medication.
If you only maintain this pose for a few minutes, your positive effects will stay with you much longer. All of these dimensions are painful and complex to keep in mind. However, we must treat them with a good emotional treatment that guarantees our dignity and our full right to seek happiness. The smiling couple making a punch is a situation where “both parties are very satisfied with the result”, and the strong poker hand sets an optimistic tone. But, the collage maker told us, the cartoon creature on the left-center edge is “a really anxious little being” who looks “emotionally exuberant.” She titled her collage “The Agony and Ecstasy of Negotiations.” Each of the co-authors of Getting to Yes has looked at certain aspects of emotion in subsequent books. (See the “More Advanced Literatures” sidebar) These books represent an improvement over the idea that trading is simply a matter of calculating fees. The things that are important to people – not only results, but also respect, power and identity – will all elicit strong emotions. As a result, it is neither possible nor desirable to separate people from the problem. The word “contract” refers to an agreement between two parties who agree to offer something and, in return, to obtain something else.
However, in the emotional world, this treatise is much more intimate and necessary. In this case, we are talking about the fundamental agreements we must make with ourselves to survive, defend our dignity and fight for our happiness. We`ve developed a six-step warm-up exercise to help you be emotionally prepared to negotiate effectively. As you will see, it is not about repressing your feelings. Rather, it`s about using it as a resource so you can be focused, dedicated, and agile. If we look carefully at the concept of emotional contract, we will find that many of us have accepted and accepted treaties based on inequalities. About two weeks before interviewing our students, we asked them to collect six to eight images that associate them with one aspect of the negotiation process. They could copy images from magazines or books, or even draw their own….